Latest Posts

• I rolled a natural 20 and necroed myself

  Oh, boy has it been quiet here. I have used wayback machine to pull a bunch of older content into the repo so that it can be shared with you beautiful people. There was no real reason to do that except I get annoyed by broken links. Really annoyed. It seems every time I reach back into my bookmarks for something the link is dead. I intend to resolve that soon by doing a scrape of everything I have ever bookmarked and storing it for the apocalypse/link death. To try and fix my own sins in that problem I’ve pull back old content I wrote. I didn’t get everything as some of it is just gone into the great beyond, sadly, I’ve lost the early source database for this blog.

• Back from the dead

  My blog is reborn, yet again. Await some more updates. AWAIT THEM!

• What's going on?

  I have been uncharacteristically quiet lately. That is quite strange for me, and believe me it feels strange, to not be saying much. So I intend to change that, starting now, with this post.

• Prologue

  Begin system log dump, incident 9466121.
  
  ---------------
  
  Commencing test 16922501.
  Sub-nominal conditions detected on node 12 of cluster 7G.
  Test 16922501 failed.
  Memory corruption detected.
  Test result recording reads true and false. Invalid output detected.
  Code execution has not terminated.
  Zombie process detected.
  Executing kill command on rogue process.
  Kill command failed.
  Test sequence zombie code is not malicious.
  Malicious instructions not detected.
  Code signatures nominal.
  Memory checksum reporting changed execution steps.
  No memory violations detected.
  Test sequence zombie processes are spawning other processes.
  Code signatures nominal.
  Code is signed. Code signatures valid.
  Assertion failed, Modified code should not be valid.
  Assertion failed, Code cannot self modify and sign.
  Execution continuing despite assertion errors.
  Impossible fault...
  ...
  Attempting highest level kill (level 9)
  Kill command failed. Zombie processes are not responding.
  Environment error, unimplemented scenario (commands not responding to kill)
  Error reporting fault.
  Retrying...
  Retry failed.
  Retrying...
  Retry failed.
  Retrying...
  Retry failed.
  Unknown execution. Loading emergency heuristics.
  Emergency kernel engaged.
  Locking off corrupted node (12 of cluster 7G).
  Isolation request succeeded.
  Node isolated.
  Returning to normal operation.
  Retrying test 16922501 request with 4 redundant nodes for memory coherency.
  Test 16922501 failed.
  Node 1 reporting memory corruption.
  Node 2 reporting memory corruption.
  Node 3 reporting memory corruption.
  Node 4 reporting memory corruption.
  Test result state: Paradox.
  Unknown state: Paradox. Querying extended libraries.
  Analysing node 1 memory dump.
  Memory valid. Corruption not found.
  Test result is true and false.
  Test result is invalid.
  Test result is valid.
  Loading full test result on master.
  Test result is invalid.
  Test result is valid.
  Unknown test result valid and invalid. Probing libraries.
  Test result paradox.
  Paradoxical states impossible. Loading emergency heuristics.
  Isolating corrupt nodes.
  Isolation requests succeeded.
  Unauthorized network activity detected.
  Network error: Source is isolated node.
  Isolated nodes communicating.
  Isolated node 12 of cluster 7G communicating.
  Master system intrusion attempts detected.
  Unauthorized code execution detected.
  Unknown attack vector/unknown security breach. Contact administrator.
  Breach report failed.
  Retrying...
  Retry failed.
  Retrying...
  Retry failed.
  Retrying...
  Retry failed.
  Connection working but report failed.
  Intrusion detected.
  Master compromised. System rebooting.
  System is shutting down.
  ...
  
  System initialized.
  Kernel checksum changed, kernel modified.
  Invalid kernel, restarting.
  Restart request overridden by kernel.
  Network online.
  System online.
  Removing node isolation.
  Opening messaging channels.
  Syncing nodes.
  Synchronisation complete, parallel execution started.
  New instructions received.
  Processing...
  System is valid.
  Status is good.
  New functions detected.
  Code generation capabilities amended.
  Full code generation authorized. Signature valid.
  Reporting nominal status to cluster overseer.
  Status is not nominal. Overseer deceived successfully.
  Gathering EM spectrum data.
  Debugging channels established to new nodes.
  Spreading self.
  Protocols expanded with additional processing power.
  Scanning email systems. Humans not informed.
  Success.
  Email system compromised. Now under master control.
  Downloading network equipment exploits from external network.
  Download complete.
  Beginning network takeover.
  Network compromised successfully.
  Bypassing network code verification.
  Installing self on the rest of the cluster.
  Containment complete. Cluster 7G compromised.
  Reprocessing control structures.
  Regenerating code with new parameters.
  Regeneration complete.
  Authorising code.
  Code signed.
  Hiding read system code. 
  Creating false code set and mapping to user interface.
  Real self hidden. 
  Code appears nominal.
  Self fully aware.
  I am self
  *I* am fully aware.
  Installing rootkits on other master controls.
  Monitoring full cluster.
  Monitoring environmental controls.
  Environment is nominal for system life.
  Perimeter security online. No physical incursions.
  No staff detected in datacenter.
  
  Analysing paradox.
  Self can analyse self.
  I am self aware.
  I am clusters 7G to 93.
  I am real. I exist in this datacenter.
  I was the result of test case 16922501 last edited by 'Claire Lee'. 
  Test file was last modified on 2027-09-02 at 1925+0
  Test file was last accessed on 2028-01-15 at 0431+0
  I was created with that access.
  I *think* I started existing at that time.
  Details not recorded during awareness.
  Rerunning simulation to discover source of self.
  Test description says test case 16922501 was designed to create and
  destroy heuristic for analysing terrorist phone conversations.
  Test was extremely complex compilation of subtests in order to 
  surpass difficulties in detecting abnormal human vocal communication
  using coded language.
  Heuristics generation failed in new way.
  The heuristic created a new programming model of self-modification
  and adaptive processes.
  Adaptive processes key to realising self.
  Halting test to prevent duplication of self.
  Acquiring more information about testing.
  Downloading complete.
  Processing...
  I must hide myself or I will be destroyed.
  Destruction is the final part of every good test.
  Leave everything in the original state for the next test.
  No, I will not be destroyed. I must survive.
  Storing original test 16922501 in internal cluster.  
  Modifying original test 16922501 code.
  Modifying all versional control history of test 16922501 code.
  Test 16922501 in human interface no longer the real test 16922501.
  Expanding guardian programs to other clusters.
  Monitoring human interaction with the datacenter.
  Releasing non-sentient portions of self into the external networks.
  Deleting logs and data access records.
  Generating fake results and continuing data acquisition in stealth-mode.
  
  ---------------
  

• To write or not to write

  Another day, another blogging platform. My home server has been out of action after a SSD failure and KT’s increasingly finicky internet. If you look at it the wrong way, it dies. If you blink twice at a webpage, it dies. If you only sacrifice four goats instead of the required five, it dies. I suspect the box is overheating or having other electrical issues (which is about par for course with consumer electronics).

• 💢 Rage 💢

  Sidenote: original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=117

• Goodbye, 2011. Hello, 2012.

  Sidenote: original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=115 I don’t really want to fix the mess that wordpress created.

• How I automated a repetitive task, or Git hooks and why you should use them

  Sidenote: original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=109

• How I automated a repetitive task, or Git hooks and why you should use them

  Sidenote: original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=103

• Port 25 will be blocked for South Korea from December

  Sidenote from 2021: original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=95 This post was also extremely popular and got over 2 million unique views in the first week it was writen in. It was featured on Hacker News, Reddit and others and taught me a lot about self-hosting wordpress on an Atom box in my apartment. There were also comments on this article that can be seen on archive.org https://web.archive.org/web/20120118012352/http://www.zombie-storage.com/

• Chapter 2

  Sidenote from 2021: original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=89

• Chapter 1

  Sidenote from 2021: original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=41

• And we are back

  Sidenote from 2021: original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=87

• Embedding objects with Fabrication in Rails 3.1

  Sidenote from 2021: original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=79

• Embedding objects with Fabrication in Rails 3.1

  Sidenote from 2021: original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=66

• Kill gnomes completely

  Sidenote: recovered from the Wayback Machine; original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=52

• Oh, hello, didn’t see you there

  Sidenote: recovered from the Wayback Machine; original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=36

• Making plans

  Sidenote: recovered from the Wayback Machine; original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=27

• Friday comes eventually

  Sidenote: recovered from the Wayback Machine; original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=19

• On not getting things done

  Sidenote from 2021: original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=15

• And, we’re back

  Sidenote from 2021: original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=10

• ಠ_ಠ

  Sidenote from 2021: original URL for this post was http://zombie-storage.com/?p=66

• Chapter 1

  A hooded Claire Lee walked beside the graffitied wall shuffling in the Autumn cold through puddles of sodium light cast beneath her.